


First Love

by mysterysiria



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Non-Graphic Smut, POV First Person, POV Isaac Lahey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 00:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16923291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysterysiria/pseuds/mysterysiria
Summary: Love is simple. But it ain’t easy.





	1. Chapter 1

I didn’t know much about falling in love, but I knew it when it happened to me. How could I forget? He was my best friend. His name was Lahey. Isaac Lahey. We met in 9th grade. I was new in Beacon Hills, and I moved right beside his house. He was mowing their lawn when my parents and I moved in.

OK, let me tell you this now: it was not love-at-first-sight. I don’t believe in that shit. Isaac became my friend simply because we were neighbors.

As soon as I got out of the car, Isaac stopped mowing so he could look at us. I shot him a glare to stop him from staring at us, then he immediately went back to mowing their lawn, occasionally glancing in our direction. I quit minding him eventually and went inside our new house with some of our stuff.

That same day, we met the Laheys. His mom knocked on our door carrying the most delectable brownies I’ve ever had. Mrs. Lahey was very soft-spoken. A curly redhead, bubbly, and a total opposite of my mom. His dad is tall, just like him. At one look I knew he wasn’t as pleasant as his wife. He was more brusque, and a man of many quotes. And then Isaac here…he was very quiet, awkward, tall, and lanky. For someone who had good looks, he pretty much lacked confidence. We didn’t speak much at the table. The adults bothered with all the “getting to know” stuff. Occasionally they’d asked us questions and we just answered them and never bothered sharing a story. Isaac and I looked at each other lots of times, judging each other for being so quiet.

Things escalated although silently when Isaac accidentally dropped his glass of water. The terror in his face formed in a split second the glass slid off his hand. When the glass broke into pieces on the floor, he glanced at his dad with that terrified look and I felt my heart pound strongly once when I gathered what happens in their house whenever Isaac made a mistake. Isaac apologized to my parents, but it felt like he was more apologetic to his dad than to us. His dad emitted a fiery vibe. Mr. Lahey was downright intimidating, to say the least.

I gently tapped on Isaac’s arm to calm him down and said it was okay, and that he could help me clean it up. We went to the kitchen to get the broom and got back to the dining room to sweep the broken glass. His mom remained in good posture and respectful, positive demeanor, making sure dinner wasn’t ruined.

I was about done with my food and I excused myself from the table. I asked Isaac to come with me outside to get some air.

“You ok?” I asked him. He clenched his jaws and nodded at me.

“I’m sorry for breaking the glass. I just get all clumsy around new folks.”

“Don’t worry about it, Lahey.” He shook his head to himself and looked away. I didn’t wanna pry so I talked to him about school. That night, we agreed that he’d wait for me outside his house so we could walk to school together. It’s been like that ever since.

A year later, our friendship grew deeper when his mom died. His dad had started beating him up and locked him in a freezer in their basement. He only told me this once. He never brought it up again. But I always knew when it happened. He would always stay out in his balcony, braving the cold and savoring the open space.

One night, I caught him sitting out in his balcony. He sat on the floor of it and just stared blankly. I think that was the first time I felt something else in my heart. His ocean eyes were blinking in the moonlight. His nose made a shadow across the other side of his face, letting me see only one side of it. And I thought he was handsome even with one side hidden in the darkness. I looked at him a little more and thought…look at him, sitting all alone, in the quiet, and tugging at my heartstrings.

I went out to my balcony to talk to him and we talked for hours that night. It was the first time he ever told me that he was a werewolf, and he was learning and training with his alpha, Derek Hale. He told me he was glad I was there with him. That he got to tell me his deepest secret. And that I was a good friend. I was falling for him every minute of that night, but the stupid me said, “Best friend.” The second I realized those words came out of my mouth, I stupidly drew the line between us. Way to go. Somebody should’ve shot me in the head right then.

When I think about it, he led quite a rough life growing up. Shortly after being bitten by the alpha werewolf, Derek, his dad got killed by some creature called a Kanima. I worried about him a lot. He could get killed anytime. Who knows what other creatures were there? But he always survived. And staying with his pack proved helpful for Isaac. He became a better werewolf. He became a better person too and became more concerned with people than he used to. He became much easier to fall in love with. He got taller, built more muscle since he joined the lacrosse team. He became my weakness and my strength.

I spent each day admiring him secretly, pulling off the best-best friend he could ever have. I always waited for him to come home late at night, and sometimes I’d stay up with him and just talk to him over the balcony. I was scared to lose him. He had werewolf friends in the pack, Boyd, and Erica. My insecurities surfaced when I met Erica. But knowing that she wasn’t Isaac’s type, I thought I’d keep my hope.

Then came Allison. THE Allison Argent. She was always so pretty, charming, and smiling. I still don’t understand why she and Scott broke up. Scott was no average jock. He was kind. Even kinder than Isaac. I never really knew them. I was always just looking from a distance. But I knew all about them. Isaac told me everything.

I had other friends besides Isaac and that’s why I was never part of their pack. Not Scott’s, not Derek’s. I’m a mere human. Allison’s human too. But she was a hunter. She had her ways with her bows and arrows and knives. She’s no ordinary girl. My insecurity against Allison was different from the ones I had with Erica because I had a hunch. Isaac had a good chance with Allison. And I could see the way he looked at her. He never looked at me like that.

But don’t you dare call me a martyr. I didn’t give up on Isaac. I started to stop worrying if we’d ever stay friends or not. Not letting him know how much I loved him caused my agony to grow. Rapidly.

Every day we would walk to school, sometimes ride the bus together, we’d have lunch, and sometimes we just talked on the bleachers when no one’s at school. We loved being alone together. But I could never tell how long Isaac would want that with me.

I thought I started losing him when he joined Scott’s pack and moved in with him and his mom. He was always away and they were always out doing something. Solving crimes and all the weird things that happened in Beacon Hills. And of course. He probably had more time to spend with Allison. And that made me change perspectives. That’s when I had finally gathered all my courage to tell him. He was walking me home and it was already dark. We laughed a lot on the way, cracking jokes and talking about spy movies.

“I think I’m never gonna forget your laugh,” Isaac said to me as he glanced at me, smiling on the corner of his mouth. My heart started pounding on my chest. This must be my chance.

“Yeah, ‘cause I laugh like a complete loon.”

“No, you don’t. But I know it’s you when I hear it.”

“Hey, Lahey, I bought the most underrated spy film yet,” I said, changing the subject because I was starting to get nervous.

“That’s my girl.” I wish he never said that. I knew he waited for me to say the title of the film. But for some reason, I just stopped walking.

“What’s the matter?” He asked, turning around to face me. His height towered over me when he faced me. I looked down because my tears started welling up in my eyes. I didn’t want him to see it. He called my name in his low voice, making my knees tremble. I tried mustering all my voice to say it. But I only managed to whisper.

”I’m in love with you, Isaac.” I couldn’t dare look at him again. I knew he heard me. I rarely ever called him by his first name. He heard my whisper with his werewolf hearing. But he remained silent for a while and I couldn’t hold my tears anymore. I looked up at his face and I saw it.

His icy blue eyes stared at mine intensely, and he held my face softly. I held the back of his hands, lingering in his touch. The expression on his face is painted in my memory forever. I knew he was gathering his words too, just like I did. He whispered my name softly and each second after that made my heart beat faster, anticipating the next words he would utter.

“I’m sorry…”

My breath stopped. I think my heart skipped a beat. Like I died for a second. I knew the next thing he was going to say.

“I’m in love with Allison.” His voice broke when he said her name.

I shook my head in disbelief, even when I knew it was 100% fucking true. I removed his hands from my face, which was already wet with tears and burning from embarrassment. We were alone but I felt the world watch me as I sank each second he looked at me with guilt.

“Please let me take you home now.” I continued being stupid.

“Is she in love with you too?”

Isaac simply looked down before he looked into my eyes and nodded. I cried. And I smiled. I smiled while I cried like a fucking loon. Should I be happy that they’re in love with each other? Sad that he’s not in love with me? That I’m alone with my dumbass feelings? I didn’t know what to do. He said my name again like I wasn’t listening.

“Come on, let me take you home. It’s getting late,” he said, taking a step towards me and attempted to wrap his arm around me. I shoved him away, not wanting him to touch me. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Isaac?? Do you think I’m just gonna walk home with you after being fucking rejected by you??” I tried catching my breath. Should I just run away? Should I slap him really hard? Kiss him? I felt like I was dying as long as I remained standing in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to say. I-I hate to see you like this. It hurts to see you cry.”

“Then STOP HURTING ME!” I cried. All he could say was my name. My stupid fucking name. I hate the sound of it coming from his mouth. It’s full of pity and guilt. Full of apologies. “I can walk home alone. Go. Go home.” My throat started feeling painful from half the tears I tried holding.

“No. I’m walking you home,” he said sternly, but I could see the guilt in his eyes. It was strong in his eyes, but for the first time, his baby blue eyes looked hollow to me.

“Stop it, Isaac. Stop being nice to me.”

“Come on…I care for you. I love you,” His tone was certain. But it didn’t feel the same way. He didn’t mean the same way. “You know that I do…Look, there’s a creature out there on the loose and I can’t just let you go home alone.” He held my face to tell me how serious he was.

I kept my head down and thought of what he said. And then I let him walk me home. The next few moments were quiet. I kept my arms crossed against my ribs and walked whilst keeping a good distance from Isaac. Without frightening me, he broke the silence.

“Are you gonna ignore me forever?” I didn’t answer him. “Are you gonna be mad at me forever?”

“I’m not mad at you, Lahey.” I noticed his mood got lighter when I called him that again. “You don’t know what it feels like to be rejected by the person you love.”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t.”

“Damn right, you don’t. You’re a werewolf but you never figured it out on your own.“

We got home soon and my heart didn’t stop breaking. He apologized again when he embraced me before leaving.

“I don’t know when I could forgive you, Lahey. It’s too much. It hurts too much.” He squeezed my shoulders.

“You don’t need to forgive me now. I just need you to know that I’m not happy how this turned out. That I hurt you.”

“That’s enough, Lahey. Stop being nice to me. You’ve brought me home. Now, go home. I’ll be fine.” He knew I lied. But he looked at me with those guilty and sad eyes before turning around. He put his hands in his jacket’s pockets and kept his head down as he walked back his path. I watched him grow small in my sight before turning towards the front door. Only one thought entered my mind as I turned my head to look at his direction one last time:

Love is simple. But it ain’t fucking easy.


	2. Chapter 2

If there’s anything I’d always kept in mind, it was that life beats you up like a bitch to teach you and make you tougher for what’s next to come. I grew up being compared to my brother Camden. He was a war hero. My dad always liked him better than me. He always said he was a better son than me. Camden was the golden boy. Smart, athletic, good-natured…Who wouldn’t love a son like that? While I stood here, clumsy, afraid, and helpless against my dad. He always hated me for not being like my brother. And blamed me for the death of my mom.

Sometimes I’d think it was just better to not exist. I found my escape in music. I loved working late at the cemetery because I was always alone. No one was there to yell at me, making me feel like I didn’t matter. One particular night, something hit the backhoe, overturning it, causing me to fall inside the grave. But somebody put it back upright and helped me come out of the hole. His name was Derek Hale. He was a werewolf and he gave me the bite, but my life didn’t change after that. I was healing from wounds and had werewolf senses, but I was still afraid of my dad. He’d still hurt me. He’s the reason I became claustrophobic, but he’s never hurt me the way he did the night he died.

He threw dishes at me for not having good grades. He’s never done that to me before. I can’t even tell the difference between being hurt from being beaten up and being thrown dishes at. Perhaps it didn’t matter. He was my father and I loved him. But I got up in an impulse and rode my bike to seek Derek before my dad could put me inside the freezer again. Derek saved my life before he met me. I just thought I could hide in his place. Then things just kept getting worse. The next day during lacrosse practice, the police took me for questioning because they found out my dad got killed the night before.

Since then, we’ve had different adversaries causing death here and there. Against the Onis and the Nogitsune that possessed Stiles, we had lost two friends during the fight - Aiden, and my girlfriend, Allison. I started losing hope for life being involved in this supernatural world. I’ve lost everyone. In the normal world, and in the supernatural world. First was Camden. Then my mother. Then my father because of Jackson as the Kanima. I never even talked to him about it. But there was always Y/N. She was the single constant thing in my life that never left me and never forgot about me.

What she didn’t know was that when she first got out of that car the day she and her parents moved in, I thought I had never seen anyone so beautiful as she was. She didn’t smile a lot and had piercing eyes that could melt anything, but she was so goddamn beautiful. My days were usually dark, dominated by the fear of making a mistake and having to answer to my father. But Y/N changed that perception I had. I know I was judging by the way she looked, but what succeeded that first impression proved to be the reason why I had the biggest crush on her in 9th grade all the way until junior year. 

She was instinctive. During our first time to meet and have dinner with her family that day they moved in on our street, she saved me from further embarrassment. I was practically a stranger to her, but she didn’t mind it. She probably had read how terrified I was when I broke a glass of water. She led me outside so I could relax. That was the first time she called “Lahey,” and that stuck with her forever. A lot of people call me by my last name, but I always loved the sound of my name rolling on her tongue.

I was 15 when I met her, she was 14 that time, but she carried herself quite maturely, always knowing things more than I did. I loved that about her. She geeked out on spy novels and movies and she got me interested in those things too. She loved the way mystery envelops things, and I think that’s why I had no problems telling her that I became a werewolf. My feelings and attraction towards her grew when I became a werewolf.

My inhibitions surfaced lots of times after I was given the bite. I spent one evening with her when she was tasked to housesit while her parents were away for a whole weekend. The full moon was two weeks away but knowing that we were alone in her house made me feel nervous around her…and wanting her. 

“Know what, Lahey, I know that James Bond is like, the most popular spy out there, but I still think he’s not the best one. I mean like, what kind of a spy are you if your enemies know your fucking name?” She spat. I love it when she geeked out like this. She’s always so passionately expressing her opinions, not caring who heard it. But mostly it was just me. I’d just let her go on and listened to her. “A REAL spy knows how to disguise himself, always changing aliases, profiles, and the only thing a spy could probably fail to do when he disguises is masking his smallest mannerisms. I’m just saying,” She declared with her brows raised. I simply smiled at her and said, “You do know you’ve told me that like a hundred times already, right?”

She gushed at my question and looked at me with those twinkling eyes that I love. That night, we rewatched The Bourne Identity. And every time we watched it, she still hooked her attention so much as if she didn’t memorize the whole film. I watched her profile being dimly light by the TV screen, the way her eyes sparkled when she refused to blink during intense scenes. And I loved it when she’d throw her fists in the air during fight scenes, always rooting for Jason Bourne.

My heart raced every time she pressed her thumbnail between her teeth, and when she removed her hand, her thumb would bring her lower lip down and ricochet back. Oh, god, I almost had a boner seeing that. I had to pay attention to the movie again just to keep myself and my other brain calm. But her lips were already imprinted on my mind.

I wanted to tell her how I felt about her. But I was afraid that she didn’t feel the same way and that’d ruin our friendship. Believe me, I had plenty of chances to tell her. We were usually alone when we hung out. But I guess a million chances doesn’t matter when you are reticent like me. Someone who has confidence doesn’t need anything except one fleck of a moment with the person they have feelings for. That night I told her I was a werewolf was the only time I thought I should tell her. I didn’t plan about when I’d tell her, but I sat in my balcony to think about it. I pictured her in front of me, I imagined the very words I wanted to say. Was it gonna be “I’m in love with you?” “I like you?” “I’ve always liked you?” “I’ve always liked you since I met you?” “I really wanna kiss you right now?”

God, I wanted to tell her all of those things. Instead, I told her I was a werewolf.

I jumped over to her balcony to sit beside her. I had to be close to her if I wanted to tell her that I was in love with her. That I wanted to kiss her so badly. It was the first time I jumped liked that in front of her, and across our balconies, and that led her asking how I was able to do that. I answered her question and it led us farther from what I really wanted to tell her. She was so interested and so amazed when she saw my glowing amber eyes. Then she held me closely when I turned myself into my werewolf form.

The look in her eyes was mesmerizing. She was probably observing the changes in my features. My fangs, and even the way my hairline changed when I turned. And all I wanted to do was fucking kiss her when I slowly turned back to my human form. We stared at each other for a while like that, and I swear, I almost told her that I love her.

“I’m so glad you’re here with me.” OK, it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but my mouth betrayed me and continued betraying me for the rest of the night. “It feels good to finally tell you this. I don’t know how long I could keep hiding this from you.” I meant it the other way too, except I didn’t tell her the other thing yet because I was such a coward. Yes, I admit it. “You’re great, Y/N. I’m so lucky to have you as my friend.” I was going to add the very words that I felt about her but she cut me.

“Best friend,” she vowed with a smile. I took it from there and decided I won’t ever cross the line. I always respected her. I never wanted her harmed, and in the supernatural world that I was now a part of, the life of a loved one was always at risk. So, I privately vowed to never put her in that position. I kept my emotional distance as well. None of it was easy. Life continued to beat me up like a bitch.

My growing attraction to Allison after she and Scott broke up happened quite naturally, and maybe even too fast. Fighting alongside each other and figuring things out together brought us closer than we expected. My werewolf couldn’t handle it. For as long as I was in a relationship with her, I thought I had forgotten about my kept feelings for Y/N. It was always easier to run away from things I had no idea of overcoming.

My world spun the night she told me how she really felt about me. I was already dating Allison then, and I hadn’t even told her because of all the other things happening simultaneously. I planned on telling her about me and Allison some other time, a better day, not when the evenings were a dangerous time. She caught me by surprise when she spoke those words in her breath.

“I’m in love with you, Isaac.” She never calls me by my name. And that whisper of a confession sent my chest pounding. Why did she tell me only now? Why didn’t I tell her before I met Allison? Why is this happening now? Why now??? Those thoughts clouded my mind as I tried finding the words to respond with. I held her face gently and just memorized all the corners of her face. So, this is how she looks like when she tells me that she loves me, I thought. She held my hands and I felt it, smelt it in her. She loved me so deeply, she couldn’t bear it in her heart anymore. I hated myself for never telling her how I felt when I had all the chances. And I knew I was gonna regret the next thing I was about to say.

“I’m sorry…” I had to do it. I had to say it. It hurt me to say that to her, and I smelt how broken she felt when I said that. Tears started forming in her eyes upon hearing my dumb apology. And the ass in me continued. “I’m in love with Allison.” I knew that broke her the second time in less than a minute. I knew from that point on, nothing I do would make her happy. I thought I’d completely lost her. I always thought that I was one of those who would never hurt her. But I was dead wrong. The look on her face was something that stayed with me for a long while.

“That’s enough, Lahey. Stop being nice to me. You’ve brought me home. Now, go home. I’ll be fine.” Those last three words echoed in my head on my way home. Sadness and frustration were plastered on her face. It broke my heart seeing her so hurt by me. I had no idea it was possible. Her heartbeat sounded differently for the first time. I’m so stupid, I never noticed her chemosignals. I never smelled her feelings or anything like that. She was always calm around me. Her heartbeat was always steady the way I remember it. Maybe I should’ve read it well whenever she worried about me. I should’ve noticed it but I was too caught up with my feelings for Allison.

When Allison died at the hands of the Oni, my world came crashing down. It was too soon. She was too young. And I’d loved her. She died saving me. When she fell into Scott’s arms, my heart broke again, but then I felt like I wouldn’t even have her death any other way.

“It’s OK. It’s OK, it’s OK. It’s OK, it’s perfect. I’m in the arms of my first love. The first person I ever loved. The person I’ll always love. I love you, Scott. Scott McCall.” Those were Allison’s last words when she died in the arms of her first love. I knew she deserved to have Scott with her in her last moment alive. It hurt me but…I wouldn’t dare take that away from her. Scott was her first love. Nothing would ever change that.

I spent that night in Argent’s apartment, but I sneaked out to see my best friend. At this rate, I just wanted to be with her. She was always my anchor when I grieved. I didn’t know what I did to have her, because she never closed her door from me even when I broke her heart. I sneaked up her balcony and knocked. I didn’t notice the time anymore. That night felt too long.

She turned on her light and I whispered outside her door that it was me. I heard her footsteps inside as she rustled out of bed and headed to open the door.

“Lahey? It’s 3 AM.” When she appeared from inside her room, with a bed hair and squinting eyes, everything flowed out of me.

“Allison got killed saving me,” I said, my voice breaking, still fighting my tears. I didn’t know what to expect of her. I just needed her. She didn’t say anything but she spread her arms and grabbed me and let me hug her. I think I never hugged her tightly as I did that night. She just let me cry. She never left my side. And she never let me feel like I owed her anything. She even went to Allison’s funeral with me. She didn’t stop being my best friend. I don’t know how she ever did it. How she put up with me when she knew I didn’t feel the same way. She was strong like that. And I wasn’t. That’s when I decided I went away with Argent to go on a Sabbatical in France. I told her I didn’t know when I would be back. But I definitely needed to be away for a while.

“I don’t know why you need to leave. I’m here for you. You know that, Lahey. You know that.”

“I know, but I can’t keep doing this to you. I can’t keep feeling guilty around you. I don’t know - I’m just…” I trailed off. I didn’t know what to say. I haven’t thought about it yet. I haven’t thought about a lot of things.

“You’re just hurting me again right now. I hope you know that.” Her eyes showed it. Her chemosignals didn’t lie. Damn it, I didn’t know how to do this without hurting her. I couldn’t even say anything back. “I can’t believe you.” She shook her head, resigning to the fact that I was a worthless friend. A terrible person. Sadness draped over in her eyes, preparing for all the times I’ll be gone.

“Look, I’m sorry…”

“You’re always sorry!” She shoved me in the chest. “Always fucking sorry…” she covered her face and started crying. Damn it. I made her cry again. Why am I always the one making her cry?

“I just don’t know how to deal with this.” She suddenly put her puzzled face up to look at me.

“But that’s why I’m here!” Tears continued welling up her eyes. Her jaws quivered, trying to fight those tears. “That’s what I’m here for, Lahey. Why do you keep pushing me away?” I held her face and wiped her tears, never leaving her gaze.

“I’m not pushing you away…” I mumbled as gently as I could and she waited for me to finish. “But I can’t keep losing everyone I love. You’re the only one I have left, Y/N,” I stated as I memorized the shape and color of her eyes and the way they looked at me.

“You’re so stupid!” She exclaimed. She looked down. I knew she couldn’t look at me with disgust. But that’s how her eyes looked even when they didn’t look directly at me.

“I know…but I’m doing this to protect you.” I did it because I was stupid. But I didn’t know it yet. My mind was in clusters of thoughts I didn’t know how to put together. She looked down and drew a sharp breath. She knew there was nothing she could do to convince me to stay.

Life continued beating me up, and I didn’t know how I could rise from that point. Losing Allison to the Oni, watching her die saving my life took me to a different place in the world. Maybe this was something Derek had always told me when keeping people in my life. Being the one left alive at the expense of someone you love was the price nobody could ever pay back.

That moment I said goodbye to Y/N, I felt I was too far from myself. Too far from her, too…but if it kept her safe, I was willing to take that risk. As long as it meant she’d stay to live her life.


	3. Chapter 3

I was in France for a year. Argent and I stayed in the province of Champagne. Occasionally, we went to Paris to visit his relatives. No one else knew that I was a werewolf except for Argent. He became my father figure eventually. I thought I’d figure everything out when I moved to France. If there was anything…it would be that things weren’t the same for me. It wasn’t where I was. The place didn’t matter. I hadn’t done well in school as I did in Beacon Hills. My mind always drifted back home. Back to Y/N.

She always had a way with me. She acted all tough, cussing here and there, but she was always so warm. She wasn’t vocal about the way she felt, but she always showed it to me. I just never really noticed. I’m dumb like that. 

When I decided to come back to Beacon Hills, I learned that time had done its job. A lot has changed.

Scott has created a new beta - his first one, named Liam. Derek evolved as a werewolf and shapeshifted into a wolf, like his mother and then left Beacon Hills. Lydia has harnessed her powers as a Banshee. There were new supernatural shapeshifters in town called chimeras. Stiles filled me in as he picked me up from the airport. The Dread Doctors were another thing, but what I really wanted to know was…how was Y/N doing?

“Y/N? Your best friend Y/N?” We were still driving back to Beacon Hills when I couldn’t wait to ask about her. “Dude, she’s part of the pack now.”

“WHAT?” I grumbled loudly, obviously startled hearing the mix of words Stiles threw at me.

“She’s part of the pack now.”

“I heard you, Stiles.” My jaws were clenching now. “I mean what is she doing being part of the pack? Did Scott give her the bite?”

“No, but she’s like an extra hand, you know?”

“What the hell do you mean by that?”

“She works with Deaton and Scott now. Thanks to you, apparently, ‘cause we had no problem explaining to her all the shit we’ve been through together.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I left her to keep her safe. But she went and dove into close proximities to danger. “She knows a lot about animals and she’s natural with them! She makes a good assistant in both worlds. How come you never really let us be with her before? She could’a been a great help, man.”

“It wasn’t my decision. She always kept her distance from the pack. But I also wanted it that way because it kept her safe,” I said, looking out the window. I thought we were done talking but Stiles spoke again.

“Oh, and there’s one more thing.” I looked at him and waited for him to continue. Without taking his eyes off the road, the next words came out of his mouth monotonously. “She and Scott are together now.” What??? I almost thought my ears deceived me.

“Together? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?” I asked even though it was obvious. I knew what he meant. Stiles just nodded sarcastically at me and it really just pissed me off. I looked at the road before I thought of something to say. “What about Kira? Wasn’t she dating Scott when I left?”

“Yeah, but she had to leave too. She made a deal with these people called the Skinwalkers. Long story. So…Welcome home, buddy!” He said enthusiastically although sarcastically, patting my arm. 

I can’t believe it. Y/N and Scott…my former alpha. Sure, I wasn’t away from her for too long, but I was too far away. I couldn’t grasp the idea that she’s now dating Scott. I didn’t know how it was supposed to make me feel, but it surprised me. Stiles brought me to Scott’s house. We arranged for me to live there again, and when we arrived, Melissa greeted me at the door.

“Isaac, welcome home,” She said so warmly. I almost felt home already. “How are you, kiddo?” She asked, giving my face a motherly caress.

“I’m good, thanks. Glad to see you again, Melissa,” I said to her and gave her a peck on the cheek.

“Scott’s upstairs, go check on ‘em before something happens again that needs his attention,” She said, referring to the Dread Doctors. I dropped my duffel bag and went upstairs. Stiles came up with me. Scott and I exchanged a brotherly bump on the chest and a pat on the back as a greeting.

“Isaac, welcome back, man” was all he said, grinning so innocently but I could smell he was hiding something from me. 

“Thanks. I heard about what’s going on around here. Stiles filled me in,” I said, and then he and Stiles exchanged glances. “So, Scott, why didn’t you tell me about Y/N?” Scott acted dumbfoundedly and ran his hand through the back of his head.

“Look, Isaac, I wanted to tell you, man-”

“You’re putting her in danger by dating her, Scott. You knew the risk when you dated Allison,” I said with a deadpanned voice. I think that shut him up ‘cause I went on, feeling my rage building up. “I was polite with you when I wanted to date Allison. I talked to you about it, Scott. I respected you that much,” I said as I sized him up. I didn’t care if he was a True Alpha. Stiles took a step between us to keep us from fighting. My nostrils were flaring already that my eyes glowed in rage.

“Look, I don’t want you to be mad. I didn’t know I couldn’t date her!”

“That’s because you didn’t ask!” I shoved his chest. I noticed this was a familiar scene.

“Guys, guys, guys, knock it off. Come on! God.” Stiles held us both at his arm’s length, keeping me from punching his best friend. But my fists were already clenched.

“You don’t own her, Isaac,” Scott declared. “Why should you be the one who decides who she dates?” 

“Whom, Scott,” Stiles corrected him as if his grammar was relevant at the moment.

“Fine. Whom,” Scott dimly complied.

“That’s not the case. I left her so I could protect her. I had to. Especially after Allison. You, of all people, should’ve known that and thought of that, Scott,“ I said, raising my voice.

“Nobody ever protected anyone by running away, Isaac!” Scott snapped at me. I clenched my jaws, restraining myself so hard. He hit me where it counted.

“You may be right about that, Scott. But you don’t know what it’s like to lose someone you love every now and then! You’ve lost Allison, too, but just her! You didn’t lose people like I did, Scott. You still have your family. And Stiles. I only have her. You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” I fumed and then stormed out of his room. I went out for a walk. Maybe I was the one who didn’t know what I was talking about. I thought my purpose coming back was defeated so soon. Not that my purpose was built on a solid plan, but I just wanted to see her. She was home more than anything else in this town ever was to me.

The next day, I went to the high school to visit the rest of the pack. I met the new kids Liam and Mason and had a little reunion with Lydia. It was the first time I had talked to Malia, and I thought she took a lot of her personality from her father, Peter. 

They filled me in with stories that Stiles missed out on telling me, like how he and Malia used to date, and some other things they could’ve just kept untold. I just wondered where Y/N was. And when I did, she appeared in a far distance from where we were sitting. 

She looked different. 

She had a glow about her that I’d never seen before. Her face was bright, and her smiles easily drew on her face. Oh, god. I had only seen that smile when she talked about her theories about Hitler or when she showed me her favorite baby animal memes. OK, maybe not just that, she did smile when we hung out, but this one is different. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the effect of me being out of the picture. Maybe it’s because she was now in love with Scott.

I kept watching her. She was waving to someone excitedly and in a second, Scott appeared opposite her. Of course. He then put his arm around her waist, kissing her where I couldn’t see his mouth - probably her neck or that skin between her cheek and her ear. I swallowed in my throat in seeing that. I watched her close her eyes as she put her arms over Scott’s shoulders and wrapped them around his neck. I knew she was lingering in his embrace. She always closed her eyes when she wanted to savor something in her senses. The smell of orange, a song that she loves, or when a gust of wind blows against her face.

She wore her hair down. I always liked it when she did. But I never told her. Scott must like it too. Now she’s wearing it that way for him. Damn it. I was gone for a year and she bloomed like this. Like a rare flower. I felt my heart skip a beat as I found myself admiring her. I felt silly and stupid. I came home to see her. To check on her, make sure she was okay. And here she was, standing more beautifully, and in love with someone else now. Scott McCall, of all people. 

She glowed gracefully in my eyes. She wore confidence all over her. Her expressions were now more animated than they used to be. I always knew she had that in her. She always hid that lively side of her. I wonder how Scott got her to unmask that. But it’s no surprise that Scott fell for her. Not at all.

“Hey, buddy, what are you spacing out for?” Stiles suddenly interrupted my thoughts.

“More like who is he staring at,” Malia suggested, and I shot her a flat glance then I continued watching Y/N bask in that happiness.

“She’ll be fine. We protect her all the time, dude. It’s not like we let her come with us during battles,” Stiles attempted to comfort me.

“Besides, she’s always at the clinic after school and comes home after work,” Lydia added.

“So she’s always with Scott,” I said, sounding like I was asking, but they knew I wasn’t. I couldn’t get over how convenient it was for the two of them to be together.

I waited for Y/N to get out of school so I could talk to her. I loitered around the school, tracing the places where many of the significant events in my life occurred. The locker room, the lacrosse field, the hallways, even the boiler room…there were too many memories I looked back to. I thought I’d paid tribute to our fallen friends and allies. 

In the remaining two hours before classes ended, I ran the woods with my werewolf abilities. It’s been a while since I did that. I found Malia’s den, the cross-country tracks where I’d fought with the twin alphas, and then there was this spot in the woods where a huge tree stood. Y/N walked with me all the way here after my mom’s funeral. We climbed up that tree and just looked over the forest. She shared that silence with me after I had done talking and crying. She always knew what I needed. She always knew how to be there for me. And I left her to ‘protect’ her. I can’t stress enough about how big of a douche I am. And a dumb one at that.

Finally, when school was over, I waited for her by the school’s sign outside, the one that leads to the Hale’s vaults underneath the school. She was going to head to work alone. Scott still had lacrosse practice. I didn’t know what I’d say to her, but I wanted to talk to her. I called her name as soon as she came out of the school. Her eyes lit up and she gasped when she saw me.

“Lahey?! Oh my fucking god!” She’s still the same, I thought. I smiled at her with longing eyes. Longing for that smile that dazzled the brightest any day. She ran towards me and gave me the tightest, warmest hug I sought for so long in France. “Scott told me you were back home!” She said a little loudly but ever so sweetly. Her hands glided from my shoulders down to my arms. I missed this. “But you never came to visit me last night,” she said with her tone dropping, her face frowning a little. I pretended like I didn’t see her earlier at lunch. I wanted her to see how happy I was to see her after a long time. I smiled for her. Hell, I fixed my hair for her.

“I know, I’m sorry, I got tired from the trip,” I said, and I watched her face look at me in amazement. I knew she missed me. I could smell her joy at seeing me. And I wished it remained that way.

“Oh, that’s okay, bud. You’re here now.” Her tone was suddenly sweeter. Warmer. “I still have an hour before work. Wanna grab something and chat for a bit?” She said, her eyes twinkling from the afternoon sunlight. How could I say no to her? Her eyes were smiling at me. I just wanted to keep seeing that from her.

We stopped by at a pizza place just a block away from the clinic. She was driving her own car now. She didn’t need to be walked home anymore. But all of a sudden I started missing all the things we did when we were neighbors. Especially those walks home. They were our thing.

We caught up with each other pretty quickly. A few months after I left, she decided she wanted to do something with her time after school and thought the animal clinic was a good place to work at. That’s when she and Scott grew close. They worked together every day and Deaton was more than happy to have another staff who was acquainted with the supernatural. 

That was another moment I realized I was stupid for telling her everything. I thought pulling a Derek (keeping her at a distance, like what Derek did to me before) would keep her safe, but I was the one that brought her to this. But then I thought maybe I should stop blaming myself. Seeing her like this was refreshing. Maybe it’s the same way the bite changed me. The same way I changed when I became part of Scott’s pack. Scott really did have ways with people. 

“So…you and Scott, huh?” I remarked with a pretentious smirk, hiding the fact that I was uncomfortable with it. I watched her face grow pink when I mentioned Scott. I loved that look on her, but I secretly wished it was for me. 

“I know…I never expected it.” Her eyes never stopped twinkling at this point. She was probably about to tell me how everything happened between them. “I never thought Scott would like me. I always saw him differently, you know? I respect him a lot. Kinda like you did when you were in his pack,” She expressed with a smile. I just nodded and let her go on. 

“I thought it’d be weird to date him since he was y’know, Allison’s ex, and you were too, and you’re my best friend. But Scotty never made me feel like it was weird,” She beamed. She’s completely head over heels for Scott now, giving him that little nickname. Could somebody remind me - why the hell was I here again?

“I hope you’re not weirded out by all this, Lahey.” She held my arm, which was covered with my sleeve. Her thumb caressed the ridges of my sleeve. I didn’t know how I’d feel if she held my bare hand, but I could feel the warmth of her hand against my sleeve.

“No, of course not. It’s not weird at all.” Just mind-boggling and worrying me like hell.

“Great! You’re the best, Lahey.” No, you’re the best. I wanted to tell her. But I was reticent like the awkward and uneasy kid I was when I first met her. I simply smiled at her. “Lemme just go grab a clubhouse for Deaton. He loves it when I bring him food,” She giggled. She changed so much, but she was still herself. She’s still a thoughtful person. I watched her stand up and talk to the sandwich guy over the counter. The sandwich guy acted like he knew her. And he reeked of admiration for her.

“Is that your boyfriend?” I overheard him ask with my werewolf hearing.

“Oh, no. He’s my best bud.” And she’s taken, you douche. Stop smiling at her like that, I said in my head. But I glared at him and made sure he saw me.

“I thought you were gonna break my heart already, Y/N,” He flirted. She’s breaking mine, pal. And you’re way out of her league, I wanted to shout at him.

“Oh, stop. You’ve broken enough hearts in here as it is, John.” Wow, they really do know each other. How long was I gone again? “Now stop flirting and gimme my sandwich already.” I could imagine her smile when she said this. She thanked the sandwich guy, John, and then we left the shop to walk over to the clinic. When we got there, Scott just arrived in his motorcycle, saying Coach Finstock dismissed him early from practice. He gave us a moment and went inside the clinic.

“I’m so glad you came to see me, Lahey. I really missed you.” Her voice didn’t falter. Her heart was beating steadily.

“You know I’d come to see you. I missed you too, bud. So much.” Thank God I got to say that out loud. She looked at me startled by my words, but I knew it comforted her that I felt the same way. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and she did the same, her arms squeezing the back of my stomach. I yearned for this. I always loved her hugs. They were the warmest. I may be taller and bigger than her but her embraces always felt big enough for me. She had no idea just how much I missed her. She had no idea what I realized all year that I spent in France. 

“I’m still in love with you, Y/N,” was all I could whisper. And she was already pushing the front door open and waving at me. There was no way she heard me. Scott helped pull the door open for her, being a gentleman-boyfriend to her. Maybe she’s better off with Scott. Scott’s a good guy. I wasted a year too many to blow my chances with a girl like her.

That moment outside the clinic, I realized life was giving me what I deserved, even for things I hardly knew were my doing.


	4. Chapter 4

Do you know that thing people say that it’s easier to move on from someone when you don’t see them or hear from them? I think it’s bullshit. When Isaac was gone, my thoughts paced between moving on from him and waiting for him. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t think of him. I tried watching Spy Game but I didn’t enjoy it or even finish it knowing he wasn’t with me. He was a Robert Redford fan. He’s classy like that. 

I could hardly ever enjoy the things I normally did. So I thought I needed something to keep me busy. Getting a job at the animal clinic turned out to be fitting to me because Deaton needed a spare hand when Scott wasn’t around, and I love animals. Having Scott around made me learn why Isaac decided to move to his pack instead of staying with Derek’s.

Scott and I grew closer as friends that he even let me hangout with Stiles, Kira, and Malia. I was always insecure about the girls in their pack. They were all skilled, supernatural, and stuff like that. But they never let me feel like I was anyone less of a person just because I’m human. Stiles always reassured me that while the rest of the pack had some supernatural abilities, we, on the other hand, relied on our knowledge. 

It didn’t take long before they pushed me to admit my feelings for Isaac. I guess it was written all over my face that I loved him and missed him real bad. I’d told them it was pretty hard to tell if he’d ever come back. He took Allison’s death pretty hard. I guess I couldn’t blame him for that. I told them the whole story - my longtime feelings for him, confession, the time he said goodbye, and how I still don’t know if Isaac would ever fall for me. That’s when Stiles hatched a plan for when Isaac would come back. 

When we heard that Isaac was finally coming home, we went through Stiles’ plan to make Isaac jealous and hopefully fall for me. At this point, I couldn’t even say if he could be jealous. Isaac never saw me with another guy other than him. Stiles said Scott would be perfect because Isaac always respected him, being Scott’s omega and all.

“We need to find him a tough match. Someone that’d threaten him enough and also,” Stiles explained as he pointed his finger up in the air to make a point. “Motivate him enough to make a fucking move.”

“You’re saying this as if he actually likes me.” I regret saying this. I blatantly displayed my insecurity. Scott and Stiles shared a glance at one another.

“Y/N, listen,” Scott began. “I know he never said anything. But he’s protected you the way I did with Allison. If he’s not in love with you yet, then we’ll make him. Right, Stiles?” The plan just got more ridiculous than it originally sounded. Stiles dumbfoundedly nodded his head repeatedly, agreeing to Scott like a real wingman.

“That’s why we’re gonna make him jealous! If a guy is threatened by another guy, he’ll make a move!” Stiles stated irritatedly.

“OK, but how would that happen if he knew that Scott and I are together?? That’ll never work,” I rejected. I’ve been with these guys for a year, planning how to save lives, but not making one fall for me.

“Y/N, trust me. You’re talking to a guy with the 10-year plan to make Lydia Martin fall in love with him. She’s dated others, I have as well,” then pointed one finger upward and mouthed, “Actually just one,” then spoke in his normal voice again, “but now we’re both single, so that 10-year plan remains in action.” I took a sharp breath. His argument was fucking valid. “It’ll work.”

The day that Isaac finally met with me, I was so fucking thrilled. Scott had told me that Isaac was in school, but urged me to stay away and to stick to the plan: make Isaac jealous. Scott and Stiles had even managed to include Lydia and Malia in this plan. And I quote Stiles, “If everybody ‘knows’ you and Scott are dating, then chances are he’s going to believe it. And he’ll get jealous and regret it for not going for you before. It’s a fool-proof plan.”

I badly wanted to just stray from the plan and confess again, even if it meant I was gonna embarrass myself again. Scott made sure I acted surprised when I saw Isaac. It’s not like any ‘acting’ was needed. I missed the bastard.

A week later, Isaac would hangout with us or go with the pack when they had a mission. One afternoon, though, Scott told him to watch over me while they pretended to go save Hayden and Liam from captivity as an excuse. Isaac was uneasy when he learned more about the Dread Doctors. It was pretty easy for Scott to convince him to be on the task. Scott picked me up in the morning so I didn’t have to drive my car and so that Isaac and I would take a walk like usual. I missed it a lot. I missed the way afternoons felt when I walked home with him.

“Just like old times, huh?” He mused and drew a small smile on the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah. Been a while, Lahey,” I remarked. For the first time since the night I confessed, we walked together feeling the awkwardness in the air. We didn’t exactly have a peaceful parting when he left. I let him go but I made it clear to him that I wasn’t okay with it. I missed him too much that being mad at him for leaving seemed time-consuming and pointless. Him being here with me was all that mattered. That’s how soft I go with Isaac. All the hurt I’ve forgiven, just to see him stand close to me like this. Our hands almost touching.

“I have a few movies we could watch at home. I saved them for when you got back,” I said to him with a smile. He smiled too, chuckling, and almost stopping but he kept walking. He brushed his fingers through his hair.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“What?”

“I know how much you love spy movies. I don’t want you missing out on those just because I was gone,” He said, probably feeling guilty again. It’s you whom I missed, you idiot.

“But it’s never been the same without you, Lahey,” I took the time to look at his eyes and mean what I said. “Besides, I’ve been binge-watching TV shows to make up for the movies I missed.” 

“How about I make it up to you?” He shrugged, looking all adorable. Oh god, where is this going? I asked him how only with an expression on my face. “I’ll do anything you ask. Anything.” The second ‘anything’ felt like he meant more than binge-watching with me. I couldn’t help but smile to myself, and I felt him steal glances from me. He felt so different around me now.

“How about never leaving me again?” I asked, and I knew I shouldn’t have because it could jeopardize my fake relationship with Scott and the whole plan to make him jealous. He stopped walking and faced me. The atmosphere was golden as the sun started setting. He looked so handsome in the way he fixed his hair and he looked at me the way I never saw him look before. He held my hands and his felt cold and a little sweaty.

“I never wanna leave you again,” He promised. His eyes looked at mine intently. “It was a mistake for me to leave you. Now you’re here, and you’re with Scott now and the others in his pack. You’re much closer to danger than before I left you. It’s my fault. I put you in this position.” His expression became apologetic.

“What are you talking about?”

He shrugged. “Maybe…if I never told you about me being a werewolf, then you wouldn’t have known about all the supernatural stuff going on around here. And Scott wouldn’t have let you join his pack and involve you. It’s too dangerous.” He looked around us and prompted me to keep walking so we could get to Scott’s house already. Nightfall would’ve caught up with us if we stayed on the road arguing.

When we got to Scott’s house, I opened the door for Isaac so he could get through the mountain ash. Scott’s mom was on graveyard duty and left some food Isaac and Scott could cook. In this case, for me and Isaac. I cooked us dinner and he helped me prepare.

“How long have you been dating Scott?” Stiles kept saying Isaac would ask, and he wasn’t wrong. I got that covered.

“Oh…for six months now. I guess it kinda happened all in good timing. Know what I mean?” I practiced this with Scott and Stiles lots of times. He said I needed to know how to lie without being detected. Kind of like my favorite spies on TV. I loved the feeling of being on a mission.

“No. What do you mean?”

“Well, after Kira left to be with the Skinwalkers, things started to lay low, the same time I got the job at the animal clinic. She and Scott had to break up because Kira’s journey with the Skinwalkers was something indefinite. Nobody knows when she’d return. Scott and I grew close as friends…and eventually, he asked me out,” I said, looking at Isaac leaning on the kitchen table as he listened to me. His eyes drifted far, probably imagining how things happened.

“He shouldn’t have,” He murmured.

“Why not?” He looked upset when I asked.

“It’s not safe for you, Y/N!” He bellowed all of a sudden. It scared me a little bit. He never raised his voice on me before. “I-I’m sorry.” He pursed his lips as he realized his impulsive yell. He seemed uneasy, trying to keep his fury hidden in his semi-sharp breaths. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.” I just looked at him and then turned around to get back to my cooking. I didn’t know what to say. I could feel his eyes still trained on me.

This tension between us was new to me. He never got mad at me before. At least not this intensely. I was always the one getting mad at him, cursing him, and shoving him. I was always the one getting hurt by his actions. And now I think I was returning him the favor. Guilt started building up in my heart. This was beyond our plan to make him jealous. I failed to grasp how serious Isaac was about keeping me safe. For all I know, our plan wasn’t working at all. He’s never gonna be jealous of Scott. He’ll never fall in love with me. This plan sucks, I thought. I started feeling sad, almost forgetting that Isaac was right behind me.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” He asked, standing up and walking towards me. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I don’t know what got into me.” His voice was low and sounded genuine. He ran his hand on my shoulder down to my arm. I knew he didn’t mean to yell. But he didn’t know why my heart was sinking. Before I knew it, tears started falling across my cheeks. He gently turned me to face him and held my face softly. “I’ll never do it again. I promise. It just scares the hell out of me knowing you put yourself on the line.”

“What’s the difference, anyway? I’m your best friend. What makes that different from me being with Scott?” I felt silly asking this, but as far as I was concerned, the plan was still in motion. 

His jaws started clenching as he removed his hands from my face and turned around. “You don’t understand…” He murmured, his voice firm, his back still facing me.

“Then help me understand,” I said, wiping my tears and then turned off the stove before I could set Scott’s house on fire because I was arguing with Isaac.

“I can’t lose you, too!” He sneered, but his voice lowered when he said ‘you’, realizing he was yelling again. He finally faced me again. “I know Scott’s a great guy. He does everything he could to save everyone. But I just think that he doesn’t believe that that doesn’t happen all the time, Y/N.”

“And you do,” I remarked. I knew I shouldn’t have said this. I was pressing all the wrong buttons.

“Yeah. I do.” His tone was firm. It was Allison all over again. My brows furrowed at that. I felt like I was back in junior year again, helplessly in love, and deliberately rejected again.

“Why are you back here anyway??” I retorted. “You left me when knew you could’ve stayed. It’s not like you leaving actually did anything to protect me or make me happy, Isaac! I never know what the fuck is going on with you.” He kept his silence and that encouraged me to keep going, but I trailed a little farther back into the past.

“You never even told me when you started falling for Allison. And I felt so stupid believing that I had a fucking chance with you even when I saw in your eyes how smitten you were with her. Do you know how much it hurt me to see you get hurt when Allison died??” Tears started forming in my eyes again. I shook my head. “No. You don’t.” He looked down, defeated at my words.

“You’re right. I don’t,” he admitted. “I came back because I wanted to see you again. You’re the reason I came home, Y/N.” I wanted him to say it again because I couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing. “But I can’t help but freak out knowing how involved you are in the supernatural. For god’s sakes, Y/N, we’re at Scott’s house hiding out right now!” He yelled again but trailed off. “…When you could be at your house, having a safe, normal night, just like you used to.” It took me a while to respond. He’s made his point.

“You’re being silly, Lahey,” was all I could say, then I walked towards the window, completely neglecting the uncooked food I started. “Why are you being so difficult about this?” I asked, facing him now, my face bearing a tired expression.

“Because I regret everything,” He said flatly, but I sensed he meant so much more.

“What? What do you mean?”

“I regret it! All of it!” He finally snapped. “I regret not telling you how beautiful you are when I first met you! I regret telling you about becoming a werewolf when I really wanted to say was that I was in love with you! I was in love with you since 9th grade, Y/N.” He said, his voice finally lowering. 

“I regret leaving you for as long as I did, but I wouldn’t have realized how much I was still in love with you if I didn’t pull myself away from you.” Sadness took over his face. “When Allison died, I couldn’t bear the feeling of losing you too. You’re family. You’re the last one I have.” His voice broke. He slouched his shoulders as he looked down, hiding his damp eyes from me.

“Lahey…” I whispered as I walked slowly towards him, spreading my arms for him to reach, and then without saying anything, he held them and pulled me in for a tight embrace.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he cried. He stroked my hair and I dug my face in his chest and squeezed his back, lingering in his embrace. It lasted longer than I’d hoped. “I love you, Y/N. You may have Scott now, but you still have me. You’ll always have me.” He broke the hug and held me in my shoulders. “I promise.”

I smiled at him and tightened my embrace. “You’re the best, Lahey.” I couldn’t keep my smiles. I hid it in his chest, but I think he could still see it because he never stopped looking at me.

“No, you are,” he argued in the sweetest tone I’ve ever heard. I couldn’t contain my happiness at this turn of events that I immediately grabbed my phone to call Stiles. It startled him since it was kind of random for me to do it at that moment.

“Stiles! Our plan worked!” I said excitedly on the phone. Isaac furrowed his eyebrows incredulously as he listened to my conversation. “He confessed,” I said smiling mischievously as I looked at Isaac.

“YES! See?? I told you it’d work! Always believe in the man with the 10-year plan!”

“What’s going on? What plan??” Isaac asked suspiciously. I put my phone on speaker so he could hear Stiles.

“You got Punk’d, Lahey! We got you, scarf-boy!” Stiles said and his laugh over the phone reverberated in the kitchen. Isaac just rolled his eyes as he shook his head on Stiles.

“OK, see you later, Stiles!” I said and immediately hung up. I smiled at Isaac menacingly as I watched him still keeping a confused expression. He uttered my name, asking for an explanation. “OK, this one’s on me. Scott and I are just friends. Stiles planned this whole thing to make you jealous. So you’d make a move,” I said, smiling, and biting the tip of my thumbnail. “I guess what I’m trying to say is…I love you, you idiot.” He shook his head and looked at me incredulously.

“You sly girl…” he remarked, smirking at me and bringing me back close to him. He held my neck and kept my face close to his. I’ve never been this close to his face before. He looked at me with so much desire that it almost overwhelmed me. “I should start telling you what I always wanted to say. No more secrets. Starting with how much I thought about you in France. I missed this pretty face.” He kissed my cheeks and then my lips for the very first time. We both let out a soft moan, but his seemed louder. “Been wanting to do that since I was 15.”

“You’re the first girl that I ever loved, Y/N…and still do. That’ll never change for me. That smile? It makes my knees weak when I see you smile like that. When you put your hair down like this? It drove me crazy seeing you wear that for Scott. And that stupid sandwich guy!” He spread his arm out. “You can tell him I’m your best bud…but I’ll tell him you’re…you’re my best girl,” he kissed me slowly this time. “Oh and that thumb-biting thing? That turns me on…” he trailed off as he kissed me on the lips, gently sucking on my lower lip. “Big time,” he added, then kissed me again. His lips were soft and moved softly against mine. Am I dreaming?

Our kisses felt overdue. It was the first time he held me too low on the waist, his hand almost reaching my ass. Isaac never touched me inappropriately. The places he held were always between my shoulders or my face, but even that was pretty rare. He held my hands too. He loved holding my hands. I just remembered, he never protested when I clung to him in his chest. But now…we held each other so differently this time. Our touches were firm, gentle, and electric.

Our tongues started dancing inside our mouths. It was a little awkward, but it got better every second. While still kissing me, he walked me towards the kitchen counter and lifted me to sit there so I won’t have to keep raising my head, and he won’t have to keep leaning in to kiss me.

When I involuntarily bumped my pelvis onto his, our kiss was interrupted by the quick sensation it brought us. Catching our breaths, we kept our gazes locked on each other. I could smell his breath, making me want more of his kisses. I noticed him have a hard on and he looked at it when he saw me notice it.

“That’s your fault, you know,” He declared in a low voice, touching my locks of hair hanging below my cheeks. “You have no idea how much I missed you…and just how much I wanna take you right now,” He said as he eyed on my body. “But first, I’d like to take you out on a proper date.” It made me smile hearing that from him. 

“Okay, Lahey,” I said sweetly and kissed him again. “I’ll go out with you.”

I attended to the cooking I left a while ago and made us dinner. We caught up like our usual selves over dinner, except that we couldn’t keep our hands apart. We slept in his room pretty late. We stayed in bed for hours, just talking, reminiscing about our friendship. He kept me in his arms all night, my head laying on his shoulder, our hands remained intertwined; as if there was no tomorrow.


	5. Bonus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Same plot as Chapter 4, except, this is written in Isaac's POV.

My first week back in Beacon Hills was almost a blur. Every day I would visit old places me and the pack would go to. Derek’s loft, Argent’s apartment, and then I went to the places where the pack has never gone to before. My family’s grave. My old house that still stood beside Y/N’s. It was vacant at the time, and I’d thought of buying the house so I could stay close to her. Be neighbors again. She’s probably moving away for college like everybody else, and buying my old house would be some silly decision.

I started thinking of ways to be close to her and how I could protect her. Maybe Scott had sensed this that he put me on duty to watch over her while they went to rescue Liam and his girlfriend Hayden. This is what I’m talking about. Those kids are being experimented on by the Dread Doctors, and who knows if they’ll survive? Scott may have the biggest faith I’ve ever seen on anyone, but I thought that even faith could blind you from what is inevitable. Was I wrong?

Before my thoughts could completely take me to the fearful side of my brain, Y/N walked out of her classroom. Looking as pretty as always.

“Lahey. Didn’t expect you to be here so early,” she said with a smile.

“I just did as told by your boyfriend.” I bowed, imitating a fairy tale prince. “I’m at your service.” She giggled and smacked my shoulder softly with the back of her palm. She wasn’t always this bubbly. Must be the love life. Must be the Alpha. Shit, where am I going with this again?

We wasted no time and started walking towards Scott’s house. If only we were on the way to her house instead of Scott’s, then this scene would be very much familiar. But everything’s different. The way she wore her hair. Her smile. God, that smile. So pretty. Refreshing, even. That’s how she looked to me. Everything seemed to be so perfect that afternoon. The weather was good. The sun was beaming the right amount of rays. And here she was, walking beside me, babbling about the latest spy series she’s been watching. It all looked perfect and I was just glad to be there with her. Except I remembered why I was there with her in the first place. I was trying to feel the day and the moment with her but I just couldn’t shake off the worry I have at the back of my head. If I were crazy enough, I would just snatch her and bring her far from those freak doctors or whatever you call them.

“I have a few movies we could watch at home. I saved them for when you got back,” she interrupted my thoughts, smiling at her own. Dammit. She still thought of me even when I was away. I didn’t realize I had stopped walking. I ran my hand through my hair as I let my thoughts come to sense.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I said. I didn’t realize I was thinking out loud when she asked me, “What?”

“I know how much you love spy movies. I don’t want you missing out on those just because I was gone.”

“But it’s never been the same without you, Lahey,” she said in the sweetest tone I’ve heard in a long time. Why is she being so adorable to me when she knows I can’t have her? “Besides, I’ve been binge-watching TV shows to make up for the movies I missed,” she added, displaying a smug expression. I knew I had to do something.

“How about I make it up to you?” I said, really trying. She didn’t reply but furrowed her eyebrows at me. I added, “I’ll do anything you ask. Anything.” Even if it meant watching the most boring spy movie she could think of as punishment. But I guess watching her with Scott is just the right amount of punishment. Torture, if you will. But when I look at her like this - in front of me, with the purest eyes and sweetest smile, damn, then I would do anything for her. All she needed was ask and I’d be rushing to get it done.

“How about never leaving me again?” And she shot me just like that. Always reminding me just how much she knows me already. I was ready to give her anything she wanted under the reach of my hands. But instead, she asked me for the one thing that only my heart could compel me to do. I was committed. I was a little nervous about all this new thing going on in our friendship, what with all the drama I’ve caused. I trained my eyes on hers and reached for her hands. I mentally swore to myself and my own life before declaring it to her.

“I never wanna leave you again,” I said sternly. “It was a mistake for me to leave you. Now you’re here, and you’re with Scott now and the others in his pack. You’re much closer to danger than before I left you. It’s my fault. I put you in this position.” I trailed off. This guilt just doesn’t fade away so easily as I’d like it to. She asked me what I was talking about and my thoughts trailed back to the very beginning.

“Maybe…if I never told you about me being a werewolf, then you wouldn’t have known about all the supernatural stuff going on around here. And Scott wouldn’t have let you join his pack and involve you. It’s too dangerous.“ My worry just kept growing by the minute. It’s safe to say that I’ve probably grown paranoid too that I urged for us to keep walking so we could finally get to Scott’s place before dark.

As we got to Scott’s house, we settled in and she started making us some dinner. The question I’ve been dying to ask had finally come out like a vomit. "How long have you been dating Scott?” She said she’s been dating him for six months already; and all in good timing. All in good timing. What the hell does that mean? I asked her, but I tried my best not to sound sarcastic.

“Well, after Kira left to be with the Skinwalkers, things started to lay low, the same time I got the job at the animal clinic. She and Scott had to break up because Kira’s journey with the Skinwalkers was something indefinite. Nobody knows when she’d return. Scott and I grew close as friends…and eventually, he asked me out,” she recollected, grinning at me. You have no idea how much I cringed at that last statement. Was it gross? Yes. Did it hurt me? Hell yeah.

“He shouldn’t have.” I managed to murmur my thoughts again and she heard me.

“Why not?” She innocently asked and I, being a moron, felt my eyes flare at the question because I thought it was stupid. My breathing caught up and my temper wasn’t helping.

“It’s not safe for you, Y/N!” I snapped. I fucking snapped and yelled at her. What the fuck is wrong with me. Am I turning into my father? I quickly tried to muster all the apologies I had in me. “I-I’m sorry.” My breathing was still faster than normal. I have no idea what was happening to me. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.” Fuck. I messed up. I’ve never yelled at her before. She didn’t say anything, not a word, but she shot me a look that I had no idea how to read. 

She turned her back on me and went back to her cooking. I screwed up and I just keep screwing up. I didn’t have the eyes to look at hers after that, but I watched her stand there while cooking, thinking about something I could never guess. Not anymore. I had a view of her profile and I noticed her face dropped. I confirmed that I’d just made things much worse than it already was. I called her name as softly as I could. “Are you okay?” I stood up and walked towards her. She still didn’t make a sound. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I don’t know what got into me.” Half of the time I did know what got into me. But if she’d still understand this part of me, then I’ve really lost it. I’ve really lost the only one who could truly understand me.

I could smell her sadness. Her heart started to beat faster. I knew she was going to cry any second now. When I stood beside her and slowly turned her to face me, I realized I wasn’t wrong. Tears already streamed down her face. I told her I would never leave her, but here I was, beside her, hurting her when I should be making her happy the best I could. I gently held her face. “I’ll never do it again. I promise. It just scares the hell out of me knowing you put yourself on the line.” Anything could happen. I know she didn’t see it my way.

“What’s the difference, anyway? I’m your best friend. What makes that different from me being with Scott?” She’s made her point asking me this but how the hell was I going to tell her mine? I clenched my jaw and took my hands off her face then turned around as I gathered my thoughts. “You don’t understand…” I trailed off.

“Then help me understand,” she asked. I faintly heard her turn off the stove as I thought of what to say. She and Scott versus me being her best friend. What’s the difference? What’s the difference?? I’d say Scott wasn’t scared enough to lose her. That’s it. My jaws clenched again. I badly wanted to throw something off the counter.

“I can’t lose you, too!” I exclaimed, realizing I was yelling again mid-sentence and turned down my voice before I could turn into full Coach Lahey. I turned around to face her as I drew a sharp breath, regaining my zen. “I know Scott’s a great guy. He does everything he could to save everyone.“ Finally, my tone was steady and calm. "But I just think that he doesn’t believe that that doesn’t happen all the time, Y/N.”

“And you do,” she hissed. She was really pissing me off now. Nobody in this town understands the one simple thing I’ve been trying to say.

“Yeah. I do,“ I said as-a-matter-of-factly. My voice didn’t falter at all.

“Why are you back here anyway??” She snapped, like all of a sudden all these thoughts were at the tip of her tongue, ready to shoot me down again. “You left me when knew you could’ve stayed. It’s not like you leaving actually did anything to protect me or make me happy, Isaac! I never know what the fuck is going on with you.” Wow. I know I started this. But I can’t believe we’ve come to this point. I think I may be driving her away. She’s found her ground to argue in. I knew it was only a matter of time before she’d get me and hit me again where it mattered. Where it hurt.

“You never even told me when you started falling for Allison. And I felt so stupid believing that I had a fucking chance with you even when I saw in your eyes how smitten you were with her.” Oh, God…I wasn’t expecting this. It’s about Allison, all over again. “Do you know how much it hurt me to see you get hurt when Allison died??” She asked, her voice broke at the attempt to keep her tears from falling once again. She shook her head when her tears finally fell down from her eyes. She was right. I had no idea.

“No. You don’t.” And that was it. I had no more arguments left at my disposal.

“You’re right. I don’t,” I admitted with conviction in my voice. “I came back because I wanted to see you again. You’re the reason I came home, Y/N.” I wasn’t sure where these statements were leading me but I said what I wanted. "But I can’t help but freak out knowing how involved you are in the supernatural. For god’s sakes, Y/N, we’re at Scott’s house hiding out right now!” At this point, I wasn’t really sorry for yelling yet again. I went on to make my point, but calmer now. “…When you could be at your house, having a safe, normal night, just like you used to.”

“You’re being silly, Lahey,” she muttered. She turned to the window but faced at me when she asked with a fed up look on her face, “Why are you being so difficult about this?” I honestly didn’t know what to say. This was by far the most difficult question she’s asked me tonight. Why was I being difficult about her having a relationship with Scott? Was that really the point of this argument? Was that still the point? Are we still on the same page?

All I could say and say so quietly was, “Because I regret everything.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I regret it! All of it!“ And I’ll probably regret the next string of words I was about to say but I still went on. "I regret not telling you how beautiful you are when I first met you! I regret telling you about becoming a werewolf when I really wanted to say was that I was in love with you! I was in love with you since 9th grade, Y/N.” Fuck. I had just confessed to her. My best friend. My Alpha’s girlfriend. I felt so fucking stupid. This will only make our friendship less than what it had been. Much less I imagine. But I didn’t stop. There was no turning back now. She had to know everything. She deserved my honesty, to say the least.

“I regret leaving you for as long as I did, but I wouldn’t have realized how much I was still in love with you if I didn’t pull myself away from you.” There was no other way to say that. “When Allison died, I couldn’t bear the feeling of losing you too. YOU’RE FAMILY. You’re the last one I have,” I said, then looked down. I couldn’t let her see my tears welling up. 

“Lahey…” she called faintly as she walked towards me, her arms already spread out for me. I gently took her hands and pulled her in for an embrace. The tension was now long gone as her voice calling my name echoed in my head. I was “Lahey” again.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” I whispered, keeping her in my chest. My tears finally fell from my eyes. She squeezed my back like she always did in our hugs, and I stroked her hair. I never wanted to leave from that position. Whenever she squeezed me like this, I knew she was telling me that she loved me. Even though it probably wasn’t the same way anymore. “I love you, Y/N. You may have Scott now, but you still have me. You’ll always have me. I promise.” After that last word left my mouth, I wasn’t sure if it was right. If it was OK. But it felt right. She will always have me. At least now she doesn’t only have Scott to protect her. She has me too. She’s my first love, after all. I’d do anything for her.

“You’re the best, Lahey,” she declared, grinning as she tightened her arms around me. I just looked at her looking all adorable and tiny against my chest. I live for that smile she’s wearing now.

“No, you are.” She has no idea.

Our little moment was ruined when she grabbed her phone and called Stiles, telling him that their plan had worked. Their plan to get me to tell her that I love her and that I was still in love with her was the brainchild of that Stilinski. He’s so smart that he could actually make people believe he’s an idiot.

I couldn’t believe my ears. I was set up to confess to my best friend. She hasn’t given up on me when I did so easily. She’s so brave and gritty and waited for me to come back home. She believed I would come home. She really did. 

I shook my head and grabbed her hand, pulling her back into me. “You sly girl.” All my inhibitions started surfacing when I held her close to me, cupping her face as I leaned my head over to hers. Here’s an image I had imagined all those years: her beautiful face so close to mine. I could smell her shampoo and oh God, her breath.

“I should start telling you what I always wanted to say. No more secrets. Starting with how much I thought about you in France. I missed this pretty face.” I caressed her cheeks with my thumbs before kissing them, until I reached the one spot I imagined kissing a million times before - her supple, pretty little lips. I kissed her gently, explored the feeling of her mouth moist and moving against mine. It felt better than I had imagined that I think a moan escaped my lips. Shit.

“Been wanting to do that since I was 15. You’re the first girl that I ever loved, Y/N…and still do. That’ll never change for me. That smile? It makes my knees weak when I see you smile like that. When you put your hair down like this? It drove me crazy seeing you wear that for Scott. And that stupid sandwich guy! You can tell him I’m your best bud…but I’ll tell him you’re…you’re my best girl.” I kissed her slowly after each phrase as I looked at her lips and eyes repeatedly.

I couldn’t stop this profession of my affection towards her. I was on a roll…and was starting to get a boner. “Oh and that thumb-biting thing? That turns me on…” I kissed her again as I trailed off, sucking only on her lower lip. “Big time,” I added, then kissed her again. Softly, this time. Every kiss felt new. A little awkward, but amazing. And it grew hotter. Her kisses sent surges of electric bolts into my body. Her palms dragged themselves on my arms and intertwined behind my neck. They were warm and wanting. Like they were a long time coming.

I badly wanted to hold her everywhere my hands could reach. At the most was the whole of her back - the way it curved down…damn. I’ve always wondered what it felt like to hold her this way. I guided her to walk backward leading to the kitchen counter. I never removed my lips from her. It felt being close to heaven being wanted by her like this. Dammit. I could lose myself in here.

I propped her up on the kitchen counter and she easily kept her knees apart, bringing my hips between her legs as she grabbed me for more kisses. Fuck. I felt her warm center bump onto my growing bulge. I halted the kiss, only to see her noticing my boner. We giggled and I whispered, “That’s your fault, you know. You have no idea how much I missed you…” I said as I looked at every detail of her face - her hooded eyes, the small corners of her mouth, and then my eyes trailed down to her body. “…and just how much I wanna take you right now.” She sat there with her legs open for me, looking all sweet, pretty, and innocent, but so fucking hot. How does she do that? Before my werewolf could take control, I think I heard my mother call me from the heavens. She raised a good boy.

“But first, I’d like to take you out on a proper date,” I said in all honesty, hiding the fact that I couldn’t wait to touch her where it’d tickle. Where it’d feel good for her. Wherever she wanted me to.

I gave her a small, lopsided grin as I waited for her response. “Okay, Lahey,” she said, sweetly calling my name and kissed me again. “I’ll go out with you.”


End file.
